"Well, why not? He got everybody else drinking again.'"
The difference-Bush and Clinton administrations?
Bush had trouble controlling his generals and Clinton had trouble controlling his privates
Why does Laura Bush always get on top?
Because George Bush can only fuck up.
Why can Bush run for a third term as president?
Because Supreme Court said if you count his vacation time, he's barely served one.
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How they manage the news:
A guy walks in and asks the bartender, "Isn't that Bush and Powell sitting over there?" The bartender says, "Yep, that's them." So the guy walks over and says, "Wow, this is a real honor. What are you guys doing in here?"
Bush says, "We're planning WWIII. And the guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"
Bush says, "Well, we're going to kill 140 million Iraqis this time and one bicycle repairman."
The guy exclaimed, "A bicycle repairman!!! Why kill a bicycle repairman?"
Bush turns to Powell, punches him on the shoulder and says, "See, dummy! I told you no one would worry about the 140 million Iraqis!"
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Coincidence or Medical Miracle?
The discovery that Bush's resting heart rate is 43 has led some observers to speculate that this is the first time we had a president with a heart rate that matches his IQ.
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Bush is A Post Turtle
A country doctor is suturing a laceration on the hand of an old farmer.
Old man: "All you need to know about politics is that young George Bush is a post turtle."
Doctor: "Oh? What is a post turtle?"
Old man: "When yer driving down a country road, and ya come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top? That's a post turtle. Ya know he didn't get there by himself, he don't belong there, he can't get anything done while he's up there, and you just want to help take the poor thang down."
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What do golf and Florida elections have in common?
Low score wins
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George Bush and Dick Cheney are talking, when Bush suddenly complains "I hate all the dumb George Bush jokes people tell about me."
Cheney, feeling sorry for his "boss," says "Oh, they're only jokes. There are a lot of truly stupid people out there. Here, I'll prove it to you."
Cheney takes Bush outside and hails a cab.
"Please take me to 29 Nickel Street to see if I'm home," says Cheney. The cab driver, without saying a word, drives them to 29 Nickel Street. Cheney looks at Bush and says, "See! This guy is really stupid."
George Bush agrees. "He really is a dummy. There was a pay phone just around the corner. He could have called instead."
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Asked by his teacher to compare three presidents Johnny thought for a moment and said:
"Well, George Washington couldn't tell a lie. Richard Nixon couldn't tell the truth... and George W. Bush couldn't tell the difference."<
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Thanks for sharing,
Kevin
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