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Showing posts with label beer and pussy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label beer and pussy. Show all posts

Monday, August 29, 2011

Beer vs Pussy

It is time to do a comparison between two things treasured by men,  beer and pussy...


A beer is always wet.
A pussy needs encouragement.
Advantage: Beer.


A beer tastes horrible served hot.
A pussy tastes better served hot.
Advantage: Pussy.


Having an ice cold beer makes you satisfied.
Having an ice cold pussy makes you Hillary Clinton.
Advantage: Beer.


Beers have commercials making fun of skunky ones.
Pussy does not.
advantage: Tie


If you get a hair in your teeth
consuming pussy, you are not disgusted.
Advantage: Pussy


24 beers come in a box.
A pussy is a box you can come in.
Advantage: Pussy


Too much head makes you mad at the
person giving you a beer.
Advantage: Pussy.


If a beer is brewed with yeast, it is
still edible.
Advantage: Beer.


If you come home smelling like beer,
your wife may get mad. If you come home
smelling like pussy, she will definitely get mad.
Advantage: Beer.


6 beers in a night and you better not
drive. 6 pussies in a night and you
have done all the driving you need.
Advantage: Pussy


Buy too much beer and you will get fat.
Buy too much pussy and you will get poor.
Advantage: Tie


It is socially acceptable to have a beer in the stands at a football game.
You are a legend if you have a pussy in the stands at a football game.
Advantage: Pussy


If a cop smells beer on your breath,
you are going to get a breathalyzer.
If a cop smells pussy on your breath,
you are going to get a high five.
Advantage: Pussy


With beer, bigger is better.
Advantage: beer.


Wearing a condom does not make a beer
any less enjoyable.
Advantage: beer.


Pussy can make you see God. Beer can
make you see the porcelain god.
Advantage: Pussy


If you think all day about the next pussy
you will have, you are normal.
If you think all day about your next beer,
you are an alcoholic.
Advantage: Pussy


Peeling labels off of beers is fun.
Peeling panties off of pussy is more fun.
Advantage: Pussy.


If you try to snag a beer at work,
you get fired. If you try to snag a pussy
at work, you get hit with sexual harassment.
Advantage: Tie


If you suddenly drop a beer, it may
break. If you suddenly drop a pussy,
it may hunt you down like the dog you are.
Advantage: Beer.


If you change to another beer, your
old brand will gladly have you back.
Advantage: Beer.


The best pussy you have ever had is
not gone once you have enjoyed it.
Advantage: Pussy.


The worst pussy you have ever had is
not gone once you have enjoyed it.
Advantage: Beer.


Bad beer: Schlitz, PBR, Old Swill.
Bad pussy: Roseanne, Janet Reno, Madeline Albright.
Advantage: Tie



The government taxes beer.
Advantage: Pussy.


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Thanks for sharing,

Kevin
 



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